Ah, Love

Last night, while sitting in a wine bar with a friend, I got into a mild verbal confrontation with an incredibly drunken idiot who, when asked if he could stop, um, using my body as a wall and um, LEANING ON ME, and please stop swiping me in the face every time he picked up his beer that he put on the bar, um, BETWEEN me and MY drink, told me the following:

"Stop being so fat."

"Leave New York and go back to wherever you came from."

"Go to church."

Charming! I think I found my new boyfriend!